just survived the first fart of the relationship.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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