Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Randomize
