I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
