Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
