eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
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