Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
