You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
