Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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