Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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