my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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