I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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