the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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