Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Randomize
