idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Randomize
