I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Randomize
