I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
