Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
