so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
