Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
