I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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