can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
