I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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