Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
