I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Randomize
