This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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