So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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