yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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