They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize