no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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