I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
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