In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
