i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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