ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize