Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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