so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
