i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
