I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
