Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
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