there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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