I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
