Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Randomize
