shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
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