My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Randomize
