I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Randomize
