oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize
