I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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