Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
