OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Randomize
