I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
the raccoons are back...
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