told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
