it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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