Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize