sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
