she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Randomize
