im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
