well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Randomize
