Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Randomize
