I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Randomize
