last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
