don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
no you cant smoke seaweed
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
