I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Randomize
