Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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