Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Randomize
