Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
