The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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