i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
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